Hey, what do you know! Starting off 1-0 this week as the Steelers showed just enough 1996-style offense to cover the spread against Will Levis and the Titans.
Up is down. Left is right. Nothing is real. What are we even doing here? Just spinning aimlessly around the sun, and for what? We are but specks in the universe. Nothing truly matters.
This feels less like a recap and more like a resignation letter. Thoughts like, “things just didn’t go as we planned”, and like “thank you for the opportunity” and “I am not even thinking about the $100 million golden parachute.” 3-10. THREE AND TEN!!!
“El Oracle” is back! Actually you can call me L Oracle after another losing week makes it two in a row. Quickly barreling towards “fade Toby” territory but hey, as long as I’m useful.
I need a bounceback week to keep my overall record in the green. Let’s see what the numbers are cooking up, starting with my current power rankings, sponsored by AOL Instant Messenger.
Minnesota looked like they would cover the spread in their game, but this is a Kirk Cousins-lead team so it really shouldn’t be too surprising that they did not. His decision to look for a sack on the game’s final play was perfect vintage Kirk C. Now with Justin Jefferson out there’s really no good reason to watch this team.
Arizona has clearly shown that they are not the magnesium fire that we had anticipated before the season. Do you know who is? Cincinnati!
This week marks the first week for which I am using real numbers in my projections, and these numbers absolutely hate these two sad-sack franchises.
Derek Carr may be death by 1,000 cuts to Jameis Winston’s “swan diving off of a building into traffic”, but you’re still dying either way. Plus I doubt the Bucs are too concerned about having to travel to the Swamp Dome to play the Saints.