Godzilla’s NFL Week 15 Best Bets

NFL Week 15 Best Bets

NFL WEEK 15 BEST BETS – Bring in the clowns: Falcons, Packers, Raiders, Bolts, Giants Fight for Relevancy 

Week 15 in the NFL is gut check time. While I am hovering around .500 this season ATS, this is MY TIME. No time to whine. There is money to be made! 

Titans at Bolts -3 

Wow, the Chargers won a big game over Miami last week to keep themselves alive for the playoffs, after looking like more like a cheap Independence Day sparkler for most of the season.

Meanwhile, the Titans, losers of three in a row, did their best Texans impersonation in getting trounced by the Jags at home.

NFL lines are now based on a one-week shelf life. 

Tennessee’s secondary the last three games represents nothing more than mere practice squad rep fodder for opposing quarterbacks. Justin Hebert should throw for 400 yards; seven touchdowns and the Bolts should whitewash this sorry pass defense. No brainer, right?

So why is the game only 3 points? Because it’s your classic trap game. The public lays down big on L.A. and all of a sudden Tennessee finds a defense (because starters are coming back). 

The public always loses. I bet against the public. That’s why I cash tickets.

John’s Pick: Titans + 3

 

Eagles at Bears +8.5 

Who can stop them? So far, only Washington – and that seems like a fluke and a long time ago. This team is rolling over everybody – home and away.

The Bears are skidding backwards into no man’s land – out of the playoffs and focusing on next year. The team has promise with Justin Fields, but how can they compete here? They get down big early, and there is no passing game. Bet the Eagles until they get beat by somebody. 

Pick: Eagles – 8.5 

 

Cowboys at Jags -4 

This is what makes me crazy. After stinking up the place for two-thirds of the season, Jacksonville wins a game on the road against a downtrodden injury-riddled Tennessee team – who had four turnovers- and all of a sudden, we are supposed to believe they can compete with Dallas, one of the best teams in the NFL. Give me a frigging break.

This season the Vegas books have the memory of a goldfish. The Titans got zero pressure on Lawrence last week. Now they have to contend with Micah Parsons. This minus four is a gift. The line should be 9. Jags are a Vegas Christmas sucker bet. 

Pick: Dallas – 4 

 

Chiefs at Houston +14.5

The Chiefs don’t cover big spreads. You know why? They are not that good. I’m betting against them in round one of the playoffs and I’ll cash out big.

This has become a one-dimensional team whose entire offense is based on one guy scrambling on third and longs. This is not a long-term prescription for success.

Houston is a train wreck no doubt, but they have played better football of late, especially on defense. I’m going to take the points at home – the Chiefs just don’t get up for these games. Houston is playing for Lovie Smith’s job. That’s good enough for me.  

Pick: Texans (gulp) + 14.5 

 

Lions at Jets -1 

Folks, it’s time to take the Lions seriously.

While I love the Jets defense, I cannot bet Zach Wilson, the whinny baby Millennial snowflake whose mommy still wipes his ass. He takes no responsibility for his failures.

It’s not his fault. Man-up dude and get out of my face. Jared Goff is a real man. When the Lions were losing games every week in the last minute he said, “We don’t have to learn how to win. First, we have to learn how not to lose.” That’s how men lead, you little dipstick. Go home to mommy. Take a hike. Culture matters. 

Pick: Lions +1 

 

Steelers at Cats + 3 

How many games can Steelers coach Mike Tomlin win as an underdog?

At least one more, against a smoke and mirrors Charlotte bunch. Oh wait, they beat Geno Smith in Seattle last week! Yeah, and the Seahawks got squashed by SF the next game.

Pittsburgh plays you tough week in and week out. They beat the below .500 teams, and lose to the good teams. Watt is still roaming around opposing backfields and their defense is legit. This is a must win game for Tomlin. 

Pick: Steelers + 3 

 

ACS at Saints -4 

The Atlanta Clown Show (ACS), which has decided to abandon anything that remotely resembles a defense, also finally deep-sixed their phony NFL quarterback Marcus Mariota in favor of U of Bearcat fame QB Riddle.

If he can breathe and walk and chew gum at the same time he’s an upgrade. The Saints are equally as pathetic but I’ll take Andy Dalton at home and these are always grudge matches. Give Riddle one start, let’s see what happens. 

Pick: Saints – 4 

 

Cards at Broncs -1.5 

OMG, save me! Things I’d rather do than watch this game: get a tooth pulled; get all my teeth pulled; do 1,000 sit-ups; do 24 hours of Yoga; drink alcohol free beer; watch reruns of McHale’s Navy for an entire weekend; go on Nutri-System; fly cross country in a Spirit Airlines middle seat; clean Sammy’s litter box 100 times in a row; be a Pirates fan; drink de-caffeinated coffee; get a hamster; have dinner with Lori Lightfoot…the list goes on…

The Good Lord will spare me. 

No Pick 

 

Pats at Vegas -1.5 

I love the Pats in this spot. They get a little better every week…and the Raiders get worse. How can you lose that game to the Rams last week, which ended any hopes for the playoffs, and then turn around and beat a Bill Belichick team who’s scratching and clawing their way into an AFC playoff berth? 

The Pats defense is for real, and they move the ball enough to win. The Raiders are a dumpster fire and the game last week showed you how really sick this franchise is right now. 

Pick: Pats + 1.5 

 

Bungles at Bucs +3.5 

Ok, let’s stop the nostalgia and cut out the nonsense. The Bucs are old, slow, hurt, and going nowhere. Brady is embarrassing himself – he should have packed it in two years ago and gone out on top. This team is sad to watch. 

The Bucs are done. 

Juxtapose that with a surging Bungles team that gets better every week. Somewhere they assembled a decent defense with a ferocious front four. This is really a tale of two cities -one team ascendant – the other descendant. The Saints can still win the NFC South, that’s how bad the Bucs are right now. 

Go with the hot hand. Burrow schools the old man. They might be the best team in the 

AFC right now. 

Pick: Bungles-3.5 

 

G-Men at Commies -4.5 

I’m taking the points. This is going to be an inter-divisional slug fest like it was two weeks ago. Neither team is that much better than the other. The Commies don’t really have a home edge—their field in Maryland sucks and Giant fans will flood the place.

This game is decided by a field goal down the stretch, and 4.5 is just a gift. The Commies have a solid defense and they move the ball, which favors them. But the Giants are not as bad as they’ve looked the last several weeks. This will be a very fun game to watch.

Take the points and grab a beer. 

Pick: G-Men + 4.5 

 

Monday Night Game – We’ll see you then! 

 

Click here to read John’s weekly column, You Can’t Buy Culture