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Twins Unveil New Stadium Statue Of Rodney Dangerfield In Front Of Target Stadium

The Minnesota Twins today unveiled a new statue of late comedian Rodney Dangerfield at Target Field. It was placed next to Twins icons Rod Carew, Harmon Killebrew and Tony Oliva.

It replaced the old statue of Blue Moon Odom, who no one recognized for the last fifty years anyway.

One young Twins fan was heard asking his father, “who’s that, daddy?”

Dad replied: “Oh he was part of the ‘6 gang that coughed up home games to the Dodgers, with one-year wonder Zoilo Versalles. Forget him.”

“We get no respect in this league,” lamented the Twins $200 Million Dollar .232 hitter, Carlos Correa. “So we decided Rodney Dangerfield was our new inspiration. He made a whole career of getting no respect. That’s like us. Look, teams pay me hundreds of millions a year to hit .230. It can be done.”

Correa, who once attempted to fly commercial to San Francisco but got rejected at the check point metal detector for what amounted to a steel mill in his ankle, had to go back to Minnesota.

Metal screeners at the time said they had never seen so many metal pins in one ankle. “He could build a new Ford F-150 with all that steel,” one screener observed.

Another Twins player weighed in.

“All the wild card teams in the AL want to finish third in the wild card race so they can play us,” said one player, who lobbied for a dual Kent Hrebek and Frank Viola statue.

When asked why, the player, who asked for anonymity to speak freely, continued, “Hrebek cheated by pushing dumb-ass Braves off first base and tagging them out in World Series games and Frankie V never met a pine tar rub or a spit ball he didn’t like. Now, those were Twins! This bunch is too nice. Minnesotta nice doesn’t win. A little bow tie or chin music can go a long way in this league. Where’s a good benches clearing sucker punch when you need one.”

The Twins are 74-67, and will likely win the A.L. Central. As division winners, they will face the number three wild card entrant in a best of three series with all games at Target Field.

The Twins have not won a playoff game in 21 years. They get no respect.

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2023 MLB Godzilla Season Stats

Minus -$1,185

2023 MLB Godzilla Season Stats

*Based on all wagers at $100 per game at money or run line odds as specified in Draft Kings. Note: If money line is -$150, we are laying $150 to win $100, etc.  If we take +$130 and we win, we win $130 for our $100.

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Picks For Saturday, Sept. 9, 2023

Pods at Houston (-130)

Houston needs to WIN A HOME GAME! Cristian Javier receives a ton of run support this season and is 9-3 on the year. Seth Lugo is not the same pitcher against good team. The Astros have lost six straight at home. #Sad

Pick: Houston (-130)  

D-Backs at Cubbies (-140)

The Cubs have averaged six runs per game over the last week with opponents getting 3.7 runs per game in that same time frame. Enough said. Arizona is hanging tough in the WC race but this is Wrigley time.

Pick: Cubs (-140)

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