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Dispatches: NASCAR Odds and More!

I won’t bury the lead here: we absolutely nailed a longshot in NASCAR last weekend and it felt awesome. The amount of support from the half dozen people who read this article has been overwhelming. My father called to say, “I didn’t know you knew how to spell NASCAR.”

Anyways, another week and another opportunity to find something fun to gamble on this weekend. Before we dive in too deep, we should take a quick recap of developments:

  • Since we are all massive Braelon Allen fans, it should be noted that all he did last week to build his Heisman case was run for three TDs before getting shelved in a blowout against New Mexico State. Nobody will remember who he scored those TD’s against at the end of the season when we see the numbers. This is a big prove-it week for the Badgers, so let’s hope our guy shows out.
  • We have entered Homa Heater season. Our early pick to don the green jacket at Augusta snagged another win last week. He should explode playing in the President’s Cup this weekend. Those juicy odds are dropping fast and I don’t see that changing any time soon.
  • Intrepid bettors may have followed along and tossed some beer money on Chris Buescher after reading last week’s column. If they did, they were rewarded with about 100x more beer money heading into this weekend. Tons of fun when one of those makes it through, so congrats if you got down on that.
  • Tyrion Davis-Price is still not listed for OROY at William Hill, and I doubt that changes. Cowards

All odds provided by DraftKings

Welcome to the Dark Side

Anyone who knows me knows my strong feelings on Aaron Rodgers.

I think he’s self-centered, egotistical, and would largely be reviled by nearly everyone if it wasn’t for his gifted arm. Without football, he’d be like every other asshole who tells you their drink isn’t strong enough at the bar. But here we are. I cannot deny his greatness any longer.

So, for our first Super Bowl bet that doesn’t exist in the realm of pure fantasy (Sorry, Jets and Jags). Green Bay looked terrible against Minnesota in Week 1 and they did what they were supposed to do against the Bears in a relatively comfortable win. I think that the Packers are growing into a juggernaut. They aren’t there yet, but that’s why we’re getting 15/1 on this team. The team is maturing on offense, and the defense is for real. Bills or Chiefs bets are boring at this point, and the only reason someone would lay money on the Buccaneers is because they are hopelessly delusional about TB12. Get some Packers tickets and enjoy what will surely be an incredibly annoying and nerve-wracking ride.

#NASCARNate

I have created a monster. After last week’s success, we have to take another swing at some drivers. Sadly, I don’t have any heroic longshots, but there are some drivers with good value.

Joey Logano and Alex Bowman can both be had for around 18/1 and Daniel Suarez is out there lurking in the neighborhood of 30/1. Those are the men we’re backing this week. When we’re evaluating drivers this week, we’re looking for guys who have been fast at comparable tracks. They raced the All-Star race here already this season, so we also have some data for this particular track.

What we really want are guys who have been fast on medium-length tracks (1.5 mile), and the strongest comparisons are results from Texas, Charlotte, Michigan and Kansas. These guys all fit the bill of having had some serious speed at one or more of these tracks recently, so we bet them.

Freedom

I have recently been unshackled from the capitalist chains that used to bind me every Saturday, which had prevented me from properly enjoying a sick and degenerate weekend of firing off 30 college football bets while trying to drink my weight in Miller Lite. I’ve got a two-week reprieve on Saturdays from working behind the bar and I have set that time aside to get absolutely weird.

You can and should head over to the weekly college writeup that I do with Jack. Those picks should also provide some insight into my mental health on Saturday. If you know me in real life, do not ask me to do anything that will involve anything other than sitting in front of more screens than I can watch with a cold beer in front of me. My stance on this is non-negotiable. Also, if anyone knows how I can get Miller Lite to sponsor this column, shoot me a message.

#NateNeedsHelp

I cannot stop betting against Kansas football. In every sport, in every season, there’s just that one team for me that I cannot give up on or cannot believe is good. Kansas is a team that I absolutely refuse to believe is for real. It’s becoming a fairly alarming problem after three weeks, and at some point this team needs to lose in order for me to regain control of my finances. I’m hoping Duke can answer the call this week and hand a loss to the Jayhawks in Lawrence.

Author

  • Nate Perry is a career bartender and degenerate who makes his living in Reno, Nevada. If you can gamble on it, chances are Nate has tried his hand at it. He’s a former fiction writer who has turned to writing about sports in a desperate bid to get published, much to the chagrin of nearly everyone around him. He is featured here with his extremely large dog, Boatswain.

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