It’s Godzilla Time: NFL Week 6! I was 8-5-1 last week and should have been 11-3, losing two games by a half point and getting a push after a back door last-second cover. No more whining-just winning. I am about to go on a roll that will take your breath away. My son Jack in Tunica and his best friend Nate (and a now permanent family member) in Reno are dorking around with teasers and same game parlays and other Millennial-driven nonsense.
Whatever, boys will be boys. It’s a man’s game. Boomers rock! I pick every game ATS and an old-fashioned Boomer ass-whuppin’ is on the horizon for these upstart whipper-snappers. It’s a BOOMER BONANZA!
I’m creeping back to .500 at 33-37-3 ATS. Can you feel it? This is the breakout week!
Let’s go to some winners, shall we?
‘Niners at ACS + 4.5
The Atlanta Clown Show (ACS) is 5-0 ATS (Against the Spread) and got screwed last week by the TBPA (Tom Brady Protection Act). Their problem this week is the ‘Niners’ suffocating defense. The speed and athleticism of their linebacking trio are worth the price of admission. It reminds me of the Ray Lewis-driven Super Bowl Ravens in 2001. The Dirty Birds spread bubble bursts this Sunday at the hands of Jimmy Jesus. The Clown Show in Atlanta continues…This S.F. defense is something to behold. Another thing I noticed: the 49’ers don’t mess around with the inferior competition.
Pick: ‘Niners -4.5
Bucs at Steelers -9.5
The Steelers may be the worst team in the NFL at this point in time. The game last week was downright embarrassing. Most of you will say, “OMG, this is bounce-back time!” You have to have something that even remotely resembles an offense to stay in games in the NFL. This is an ugly Steelers Nation season. It’ll get even uglier when that Bucs’ defense realizes Kenny Pickett is this year’s version of Ryan Leaf.
Pick: Bucs -9.5
Pats at Brownies 2.5
It’s like clockwork: Belichick’s teams get better as the season progresses. He won last week with a third-string quarterback a week removed from the practice squad. The Pats’ defense is what I said it was all season: formidable. This Browns’ bunch is an anomaly. I lost all five games on them this season – betting on or against them. The key here is this: The Pats are getting better. The Browns are wholly inconsistent. I love the Pats here getting points on the road.
Pick: Pats +2.5
Ravens at Giants +6
Are you really going to bet against the 4-1 Giants who the experts keep telling us aren’t very good and they keep winning games? If I had a dollar for every sports writer (oxymoron-most can’t write their way out a paper bag) who says, “This is the worst 4-1 team in the NFL” – I could buy an NHL Hockey team, move it to Hartford, call it the Whalers and make the playoffs by winning 15 games. In the famous words of big Tuna – Bill Parcels: “You are what your record says you are.”
The Ravens have underwhelmed all season. And put this in your pipe and puff it: former Ravens defensive coordinator Don Martindale is on the Giants sideline. He knows the Ravens’ defense which has not changed much. The Giants’ win the whole game and defy the nit-wit brain dead NFL writers again (they’ll be too busy kissing John Harbaugh’s ass like they always do).
Pick: G-Men + 6
Jets at Pack -7
Note to Aaron Rodgers: stop bitching and start playing. A loss here at home and the Pack is knocked out of first place in the NFC North. I don’t see it. This is the proverbial NFL wake-up call after last week’s London meltdown. I can only imagine that 12-hour plane ride back to Wisconsin. Not fun.
Rodgers said after the game the Pack has not played four good quarters this season: he’s right. The Jets are upstarts…but the Pack need a physical game to get their identity back. This is the game to do that.
Pick: Pack -7
Bungles at Saints +3
Jump on the Bungles before the line goes up. Half the Saints’ offense is out, and the Cincy defense is playing better. You can’t win with half a team. Out for Saints: Jameis Winston, Marshon Lattimore, Michael Thomas, Jarvis Landry, Chris Olave…Deonte Hardy…ouch. Blow out. The Saints have a backup QB and no receivers!
Pick: Bungles -3
Vikes at Dolphins -3
I’m not betting on Miami again until they win a game and cover. Period. What this organization did to that young man Tua is unconscionable. Who is Skylar Thompson? Answer: he’s not John Galt.
Like I have said for weeks, this Vikings team does just enough to win. They’re a throwback to a 1950s corporate board room approach: manage to enough profit to survive. Not flashy, just W’s. Oh, and in one of these games Cousins will break out.
Pick: Vikes -3
Jags at Colts -2.5
Are the Jags for real? The Colts won a clown game last Thursday with Denver. Here is what we know: 1. Matt Ryan is done, he has the mobility of a rusted tricycle. 2. The Colts should be 0-5, winning two games on bizarre plays at the end. 3. Screw Frank Reich. 4. Jonathan Taylor is a shell of his former self. 5. The Jags looked like the Jags of old in getting pasted at home last Sunday by Houston. One team is rising, while the other looks old and aging. I’m betting on the road dog and hoping the last week’s Jags don’t show up at Indy. Oh, I forgot #6: screw Frank Reich and his ESPN sycophants.
Pick: Jags + 2.5
Cards at Seahawks +2.5
As bad as the Cardinals’ defense it, Seattle is worse. The fans will be depressed after the Mariners get eliminated at home by the Astros. The Geno Smith boomlet has come crashing down. Tyler Murray likes to run around in the Pac West. The Cards need this game to stay relevant in the playoff picture.
Pick: Cards -2.5
Cats at Rams -10
As we predicted from the first game of the season, hapless Panthers coach Matt Rhule would get canned before Halloween. I was right, he got fired last Monday. I don’t like this game, but I don’t see a Cats win in L.A. Baker Mayfield was not an NFL-caliber QB, but what do we know about P.J. Walker, his replacement? The Rams need to dominate somebody desperately and get their swagger back. This is ready-made.
Pick: Rams -10
Bills at Chiefs -2.5
This is easy. The Bills are a far better, more balanced and a better team today than Kansas City. The Chiefs lucked out last week from Raider bonehead calls, that won’t happen again with Buffalo. The hype is Josh Allen vs. Patrick Mahomes—but it’s really the Bills’ defense vs. no Tyrone Hill.
KC has a short week, and Buffalo rested its starters for a quarter last week during their blowout. This is my best bet.
Pick: Bills -2.5 – BEST BET
Cowboys at Eagles -6.5
“Every dog has its day.” – Al Pacino, Scarface 1983.
I believe. In the ‘Boys D.
Look, the Eagles are undefeated, at home and the Phillies are about to eliminate the Braves. It all points to Philadelphia, right? Wrong.
Here is the difference: We know how good the Eagles are: really good. We don’t, however, know how good this Dallas team is. The Eagles will be tested here, and the Dallas pass rush is better than anything we have seen this season in the NFL.
I love McCarthy’s game plan: hang around, let the defense win the game. Kind of like the old Ravens with Trent Dilfer at QB and Brian Billick as a coach. He said, “Keep me within 7 in the fourth quarter and my defense will get a turnover and win the game.”
This should be a great game. Take the points.
Pick: Boys D +6.5
Broncos at Bolts -4.5
Who on earth can bet on this pathetic Broncos offense on the road? To cover, the Bolts need to score what, 10 points? Why are the Broncos on prime time every week to subject us to three field goals a game? Please make it go away. Do you think Herbert can score 10 points at home?
Pick Bolts -4.5 BEST BET #2