Here we are in WEEK #7 and Godzilla sits six games under .500 at 39-45-3. As a result, my two Millennial boys are chortling about how good they are. See this is the thing about Boomers: We play the long game.
Never sit at the blackjack table with not enough cash to double down on a pair of aces against a five up — and don’t leave the Godzilla picks after week 6.
The boys know my big weeks are coming to blow them out like I always do. It starts this week: REDEMPTION IN WEEK #7!
Lions at Cowboys -6.5
I’m not giving up on the doomsday defense after one game where the backup QB threw three picks and McCarthy couldn’t make a 4th and 1 at their own 37-yard line in the first half. Even with all that, and as dominant as the Eagles are, this game was 20-17 in the fourth quarter. Think about that.
Dak is back and the Cowboys get revenge on the now once again pathetic Lions, who have looked dreadful in their last two games before their break. It’s a long day for Jared Goff.
Pick: Dallas -6.5
Giants at Jags -3.5
This is my best bet. Period. The lack of respect the Giants get at 5-1 is stunning by the brain-dead nit-wit dumb as a bucket of hair sports dribblers who masquerade as legit writers.
The Giants are 5-1 for a reason – they hang around and win games. Big Tuna got it right years ago: “You are what your record says you are.”
The Jags are 2-3 and have lost two in a row for a reason: they hang around and lose games. Wake up Monday and the Giants are 6-1. BOOM!
Pick: Giants + 3.5 BEST BET #1
Bucs at Cats -13
I don’t really care what the line is or how decimated Charlotte is after their recent fire-sale of what marginal talent was left of a pathetic team. Am I going to lay on 13 points on the road to a team in offensive disarray who refuses to score touchdowns in the red zone? Yes. Maybe the Bucs will kick eight field goals and win 24-10. You can’t bet on the Panthers who are now stockpiling draft picks. This game is a must-win for Tampa after their piss-poor performance last week. At some point, The Goat has to put the ball in the end zone.
Pick: Bucs -13
Pack at Washington +4.5
LOL. How many lousy teams can keep beating Aaron Rodgers who is becoming more disgruntled and surly after each underwhelming Packers performance? Are we back to the Tyler Heinicke era? At some point, the Pack has to blow somebody out. This is it.
Another Packer dud against a really bad team will shake the Cheese-Head world to its curdling core. By the way, did the Jets steal a cheesehead last week? That was embarrassing.
Pick: Pack -4.5
Browns at Ravens -6.5
It really comes down to this: how many games can Baltimore cough up in the last minute? Maybe another one. This is a trap game. It looks like an easy play, right?
Ravens at home in a must-win game and something to prove? Problem: the Browns are a legit opponent with solid defense. These divisional games are always close. We have to ask the question now: are the Ravens as good as we thought they were? We’ll find out Sunday. My gut: no.
The Browns are sneaky.
Pick: Brownies on the Road +6.5
ACS at Bengals -6.5
The Atlanta Clown Show (ACS) is 6-0 ATS (Against the Spread) and every game they play is competitive. At some point, you have to believe the Clowns are better than advertised. Why can’t they go 7-0 ATS?
This is a simple breakdown: The Clown show is playing better football than anyone thought and Arthur Smith is maximizing his quarterback Mariota who he coached in Nashville. The Bengals are the opposite story: playing lousy and losing games. Do you believe in trends? The Falcons are believing in themselves. I’m stubborn, but I’m not stupid. That’s why I buy gold.
Pick: Clowns + 6.5
Colts at Titans -2.5
The Colts won another game on their final drive. They could be 0-6 or 5-1. You simply can’t bet on this team. Ryan has a great long pass once a game, other than that he’s a spinning top. Where is Jonathan Taylor? He’s out.
The Titans had a much-needed bye week and a lot of their injured players are back and ready to take control of the division. Tennessee could be 4-1 if they make one tackle. Once again, King Henry slashes the Colts. And Matt Ryan gets sacked like a Kroger grocery bag.
Pick: Titans -2.5 BEST BET #2
Jets at Broncs +1.5
No Russel Wilson? That’s an improvement. I’m betting on the Denver defense at home. The Pack took the Jets lightly last week and got burned, as the Jets donned a cheese-head trophy. The Jets now go to Mile High where they play a real defense. In a 10-9 game, I’ll bet the slight dog at home. The Broncos desperately need this win not only to stay relevant but to stop the NFL from canceling their next 100 Thursday night, Sunday night, and Monday night games for marketing malpractice.
Pick: Denver +1.5
Texans at Raiders -6.5
The reason I’ll be 30 games over .500 again ATS at the end of the season rests on one thing: I don’t bet on bad teams. Houston is a bad ball club, going nowhere. Vegas is better than they’ve shown, and a big game for Derek Carr and company is on the horizon here. This is a blowout. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Playoffs? Don’t count the Raiders out – they can go on a run starting right here!
Pick: Raiders -6.5
Chiefs at ‘Niners +1
Defense wins championships. It also wins games. The ‘Niners have maybe the best D in the NFL, and they are at home. The Chiefs’ defense has been exposed as a wet noodle sieve. Expect SF to run the football 1,000 times. Is McCaffrey ready? Who knows, he was just ecstatic to escape from the Charlotte house of horrors. In the famous words of Bud Grant: “I want three yards and a cloud of dust.”
Go ahead, make my day Mahomes. Do you feel lucky today in the Bay?
Pick: SF-1 BEST BET #3
Seahawks at Bolts -5
I’ve lost 6 games in a row on Seattle, win or lose. They are becoming my Purdue of the NFL. Whoever I bet in this game will lose. Yikes.
No Pick – I’ll bet the Astros tonight to sweep instead.
Steelers at Fish -7.5
I am betting against Miami every week until they win ATS two weeks in a row. Don’t overthink it. Some plays are rote. Like this. Why not win again Steelers?
Pick: Steel Curtain +7.5
Bears at Patriots -8
Justin Fields has the worst QB stats since the days of the Abacus. He belongs on someone’s practice squad. Fields vs. the Pats D could get ugly. The Bears just aren’t good enough to compete with anybody that rushes NFL-caliber players. Billy B’s teams get better as the season drudges on.
Pick: Pats -8